Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
