sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
COCAINE IS GR8
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
