Can Purell be used as lube?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
