I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My penis needs a shock collar
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
