"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
