the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
