Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
