glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
