come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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