Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize