my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just cropdusted the office
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
