I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
