it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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