i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
