I'm laying in your front yard are you home
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
