I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
