she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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