Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
