We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
