ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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