I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
