My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
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