Since when is my name a synonym for head?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Can I color on your dick again?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
