his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
A+ Viking dick
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
