so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
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We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
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What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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