no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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