I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
