coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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