Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
