just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
