Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
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