Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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