It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
