Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize