Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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