Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
