I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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