all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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