I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
