he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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