You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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