its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
