don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
