it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
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Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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