the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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