I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
organizing the empties. That sober.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
