idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
