He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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