dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
