I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
