But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
