I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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