I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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