I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
