im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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