I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
