well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
