you have to choose: penises or morals?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize