So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
